I have been feeling a little sad lately, perhaps it's a small dose of the baby blues coupled with feeling non-productive! I used to roll my eyes (to myself) when other moms would say how hard it was to just take a shower on a daily basis when you have kids - plural. Well, I feel it is an accomplishment if I shower every other day!!! I feel too tired in the morning to jump in the shower before everyone wakes up...I wait until they wake me up which is somewhere between 6-7am.
I used to be a VERY productive person, list in hand crossing things off right and left. I get a real sense of accomplishment from doing things that are on my list. In fact, my mom calls me the task-master...not so much anymore. I leave my clean laundry in the baskets for days before I have the desire or energy to put it away. I just washed my floors last weekend and it had been a month since it had been cleaned. I don't exercise - no energy or time. So the fact that I have 35 lbs to lose sort of depresses me.
I don't mean to complain, it's just that I have realized that I need to lower my expectations when it comes to being super productive with the things on my list. I am torn because I spend most of my days holding and feeding Samantha. I love it. I love her. I know these days will pass too fast, so I am trying to soak in the moments and breathe. But, I find that I am having an inner-struggle between the woman that wants to hold and kiss her baby and enjoy the moments and the woman that loves to be productive. Have any of you felt that way after having a baby? Where is the fine line? Is there one? Or do I wait it out? I know it probably passes because anyone with more than one kid that I know, is productive. Right now, I don't see the task master coming back easily.
The things that keep me sane and content for the most part are these beautiful people. I'm thankful each day for them.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Posted by Kirkland's at 4:11 PM
Monday, April 21, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
Love this smiling baby! Ok, so it really is true that the second time around is easier! I am a witness to it. I'm not as tired, my body has healed quicker and I've lost the baby weight quicker (still have Alex baby weight though...) and I pretty much don't feel like I gave birth 8 days ago. It might have something to do with how small Samantha was, and look at that small head. Alexandra's head was bigger and well, got stuck! Sam kinda slid out.
Faker for the picture, but cute nonetheless - Chris loves his girls!
Alex loves Samantha, when cousin Bentley came over the other day the first thing Alex said to her was "look!" and she was pointing to her baby sister. It was like, 'look, I got one too!
Since Samantha's arrival, Alex is more of a ragga-muffin...I just can't keep up some days. Me or her, I go with me showering!
Post pregnancy brain? Sorry for the double picture. This baby LOVES to be held, I'm trying to soak it all in instead of being annoyed that I don't get much done. She is just happier when close to me and I love it. She is so sweet and smells so yummy and those cheeks, oh I just kiss them all the time!
Posted by Kirkland's at 9:56 PM
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Well, it happened! Baby girl was born Sunday April 6th at 5:54am, weighing in at 6 lbs. 11 oz, 19 1/2 in. long. She has blonde hair and is so sweet and small! I think she is a good mix of Chris and I. I went into labor on my own, it was a breeze - except for the two epidurals!!! I am already home and feeling great. I will post more later, but just wanted to introduce our sweet little girl!
Alexandra LOVES to hold her, in fact, it's a fight who can hold her more. She is really kind nad loving towards her...so far, we're keeping our fingers crossed!
Posted by Kirkland's at 4:54 PM
Friday, April 4, 2008
You will notice the baby ticker on my sidebar....it says 4 days to go...well that's 4 days past due!!!! I'm still here. Tried ALL the tricks. Nothing is working. She'll be here by the 8th, my doctor is making me get induced - obviously I know she has to come out sometime. As you can see, I am HUGE, all over...especially in the boobs!! Hello. I think the most frustrating thing for me is that my body may never go into labor on it's own, that is something I really wanted to experience. Also, I'm done being fat. I want to get on with it and feel cute again. I know the baby will be here and sleepless nights are around the corner, so in that regard I'm not too anxious. But it will be sweet to lay eyes on her and hold her and kiss her!
This morning I gave Chris his task list: CLEAN TOILETS, well I went in to relieve my teaspoon sized bladder and found this....
I'm really trying to focus on the positive right now. I love my new wreath. Does anyone else get excited about home decor? I wish I had a bigger budget right now so I could go buck wild on decorating my house. It's pretty empty and most of what I do have is a temporary fix until I can get what I really want. But for now, I love opening my front door and seeing my wreath.
This of course is another positive thing that keeps me happy.....my sweet Alexandra! She is just getting into her princess shoes, and "rella" and of course, she STILL loves t.v hence the reason she wouldn't look at me and smile for the camera!
Posted by Kirkland's at 11:00 AM